Mr. Miaggi knew the value of hard work. He made Ralph learn a very important lesson in that infamous movie “Karate Kid”….WAX YOUR CAR!
Me, waxing is a true labor of love, one that I spend a LOT of time doing. It is hard labor. I do a lot of prep work building up to my extreme exercise. I set up a few hours of time to the side, I have a nice big breakfast or lunch, depending on the day, I load up on B12 vitamins, drink a gallon of Red Bull, and off to the garage I go.
My car storage area in the garage is quite thorough. I have a six foot industrial shelving unit FILLED with everything. Cleaners on the bottom, devices on the next shelf, waxing materials on the next shelf, and buckets all the way up on top. At any given time, I have enough car care materials to clean a dealership…..dealership full of Monster trucks that were just run through the mud pits on a rainy day.
From RainX car cleaner to RainX glass protectorant, from black shine for the tires to black shine for the trim to neutral shine for the interior panels, and of course 20 gallons of Windex. Wax for the paint, wax for the rims, wax for the tires, I have wax!
I call it my “Waxing Routine”. By this time, I have already washed my car a day or so before, so it is clean. Then, when I pull it out of the garage, I wash it again. Of course Microfiber sponges, everything is microfiber to avoid scratches. Non-abrasive fluids abound in my car storage area as well. So, it’s time to finally wax the car. What do I use? Well, let’s start with waxing material themselves.
There are three main types of wax: carnauba, silicone, and polymer. Just about every wax fits into those categories. Let’s start with carnauba.
Actually, hold on, let’s not start directly with carnauba. Let’s do the worst-case scenario first. TURTLE WAX! We have all heard of Turtle Wax. It was the consolation prize on “The Price Is Right” game show, if you lost, you got to go home with a lifetime supply of Turtle Wax. Quite frankly, that is adding insult to injury.
When I am in the auto part store and I see people buying that hideous “junk”, I can’t hold back, I have to warn them. Here’s the thing, when you read it, it sounds great. “Wax on, wax off, and watch all the imperfections in your paint wipe away. Your paint feels smooth again!” WOW, that sounds great, that is what wax is supposed to do, be smooth. Well, how does that wax make your paint smooth, how does it wipe away all the rough stuff? Easy……sand! Turtle Wax puts particulate matter in the wax, so you are literally sanding your paint off. Your paint layers are thinner, and if you dare use an orbital, you will very quickly learn your lesson. So, ANY wax that boasts that it will make your paint smooth, dump it like you would dump your alcoholic black sheep relative at the bus station after they just ruined your family picnic by getting “sick” in the pool.
Ok, now to carnauba. This is the oldest of the good waxes. Its been around since your grandfather waxed his car to go take your grandmother to the prom. It is a natural wax material, it is generally safe for your paint, and it is the most EXCRUCIATING to apply and polish off. Anyone who does hand waxing knows that using carnauba will take at least 10 hours per body panel to wax on wax off. It always streaks, and you have to buff very gently to get the excess off. Buff too much, and you can burn the paint or simply rub it off.
Most people love to use an orbital buffer on their car. For carnauba wax, this is the best option. However, I never use them for one reason…..SWIRLIES! No, not the good swirlies that your prom date gave you that night, I mean the infamous paint swirlies that you see on cars from time to time. It looks a little like the car is shimmering when it drives by. However, when you look up close, you see all the microfine scratches in the paint from the buffer. If you trade in your car at the dealer, and they see the swirlies, yup, just know your wallet just got a little lighter. The car is just dumped at auction for whatever they can get for it.
With carnauba, the problem is that when you leave some excess and you have to do extra buffing to get it off, you definitely risk burning the paint, and at a minimum you can get some swirlies. So, for all of these reasons, I am not a carnauba fan.
Next, silicone wax. Silicone is usually awesome stuff. You can waterproof everything with it. Your shoes, pipes in your house, your cat, all sorts of things that could use a water repellant. For wax, it sounds great to make water bead off your car when you wash it. Remember those “NuVinyl” commercials, where they stand in a junkyard and say, “We took this 1,200 year old car, waxed it with NuVinyl, then ran it through 1,200 car washes, and LOOK, the water still beads!” To me, the car looks more like “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up.” Here’s the catch to silicone wax. Silicone is able to absorb into paint very easily. If there is any nick or scratch, it absorbs right in. Bad part is, it then creeps under the layers of good paint, and lifts them off. You start having all the paint fleck off your car. If you ever have your car painted after a wreck, you have to tell the body shop if you used silicone wax. If you don’t, when they paint the car, all the paint won’t stick, and then they will charge you extra for not telling them, and then they charge you extra to strip the entire panel so that they get all the wax off. So, I am not a silicone fan.
Polymer wax, this is the one to use. First, because it is the opposite of all the things above. It is easy to put on, easy to buff off, and it doesn’t hurt the paint. Here is another important point, it is the ONLY wax that you can stack, meaning you can put on more than one coat. All the other waxes, when you apply a second coat, it buffs off the first. I crack up watching guys say “I have 5 coats of wax on my car, took me all afternoon.” and I see them with the bad wax in hand.
Polymer waxes can stack because they actually “cure” into a hard shell. When I apply my wax, I put it on while in the shade, never in the sun, it makes it dry too quickly and unevenly (yes, I pay attention to that, stop laughing). The wax is usually liquid, and goes on very easily, and dries within about 5 minutes. After that, buffing off is quick and easy as well. I can wax on and wax off in about 10-15 minutes.
Once the wax is buffed to a shine, I move the car to the sun to warm it up for a couple minutes, then I put it in the garage. Since this is my garage ornament, I get to wax it on different days. The wax needs 4 hours to cure. Once it does, you can apply the next coat. By the time I get about 4 coats on my baby, it is so slick it makes Astroglide seem abrasive.
So, WHICH wax do I recommend? Well, I have tried many many many waxes in my lifetime, always trying to find a happy medium between price and quality. To at least mention, Zaino is hands down the best wax there is. Their polymer wax system is comprised of multiple products to use on your car. There is the prep, the wash, the cleaner, the paint prep, the wax, and then the resin protectorant. It takes about two weeks to apply all the various coatings. The wax usually comes in kits that cost literally hundreds of dollars. If you drive a car that is over six figures on the price tag, and you don’t use Zaino, you need to have your gold digging wife smack you in the back of your head and knock your toupee off in public. Just saying.
However, for those of us who have more moderate budgets, use “Liquid Glass”. I have used it for over 15 years now. It is the best overall wax I have ever used. Super easy to put on and buff off, even when I would do it up north when it was 20 degrees out. One needs to protect their car from the salt on the road, so wax it up. I can tell you, my current garage ornament is 8 years old and it not just has a mirror shine, but not a tiny bit of microfine scratches. I drive it around, people swear it is a new car. This is due to Liquid Glass.
It comes in a can, and costs anywhere from $15 to $25 depending on where you get it. It is just simply the best overall wax on the market….oops, did I already say it is the best overall wax on the market, ok, sorry, I won’t mention again that it is the best overall wax on the market.
Now, let’s hope that the owner of the Liquid Glass company will read my blog and send me a lifetime supply, since I don’t get the Showcase Showdown consolation of all that Turtle Wax.