When someone asks, “What do you drive?”, there are certain ways you say the brand. For Mercedes Benz, you say “Benz” (or “Merc” if you are in the rest of the world or if watching Jeremy Clarkson). For BMW, you say “Bimmer”, for Chevrolet, you say “Chevy”, and for Rolls Royce you say “Same as a house payment”.
However, if you own a Jaguar, you break out your best “British Royalty/aloof” tone of voice and you say “I drive a Jaaag”. A coworker of mine bought an old Jag XK, and when we talk to each other, I always put on my accent and say “How’s your Jaaag?!
That long hood, those circular lights, that feeling when the car is on the highway, it is of legend. Think about when the XK120 was the fastest car in the world? Think about when the XJ220 was the fastest car in the world? What about the gorgeous C-Type, D-Type, the 200mph E-Type, which is still known as one of the sexiest cars ever made? The F-Type making the Alphabet a lot more fun, letter by letter. Jag has a rich, colorful history.
However, for the last handful of decades, it has been mired in its Coventry ways. The XJ of the 80’s, the X-Type and S-Type of a decade ago, they were simply abysmal! Cars came standard with a Sterling Silver Tea set and a butler in the back to serve it to you. Earl Grey with a touch of milk please. You didn’t move along, you lumbered along, with Beethoven playing on every radio station. Oh, and you could only drive it to either the country club or to your friend’s house for your weekly game of Bridge. Also, it had the reliability of an old Alfa Romeo. At least you had tea to drink while you sat on the side of the road waiting for a tow truck.
Time to move on. Time to leave Coventry and start to put up a fight again. It’s like trying to bring Rocky out of retirement to box one more time. Time for Jag to go aggressive and go up against Das Deutsches (The Germans!)
My wife has been wanting a new car really badly. On her list of cars to review, I told her she needed to go see the new Jag XE. At the Auto Show, it looked good, it felt good sitting inside it, and after seeing it at the Show, we now needed to see what it drove like. Plus, the dealership is literally next door to where she works. So easy for her to take it in if it had a problem, and with a 5 year /100K mile comprehensive warranty, there is convenience. So, I was quite excited to get her down there.
Mind you, she does NOT like to go play around at an auto dealership. She would rather cut off all her hair and paint her nails purple. Me, it’s like CandyLand, I am prancing through the main showroom floor touching and sitting in everything. However, a test drive is required.
Strolling into the dealership, it is a definitely “mild” atmosphere. Salesmen actually do not say “Are you going to buy today?” over and over and over, how refreshing. We strolled through the showroom and focused on the XE. Of course, while she was sitting in the showroom model, I sneakily wandered off to go sit in the F-Type. Gorgeous, sexy, sounds like petrol heaven…..mmmmmm…..uh oh, the security guards are coming, oh, I was drooling too much on the leather, oops, my bad. Sorry guys.
But, back to my wife’s car needs. There are two petrol engines in the XE of the 2.5L four banger, and the 3.5L 340hp Supercharged V6 engine. She is coming up from her 108hp Mini. So, we were figuring that the 240hp engine would do the trick. It does in the BMW 330i, which is quite zippy. My wife likes the horsepower in that one…..a lot! We had a loaner of one, and she came home one day from driving it and said that she accidentally hit a high speed. I won’t say how high, or else it will be another visit down to my favorite traffic-ticket lawyer (Ticket Titan in Florida, we have a membership there, Platinum Status of course) but for her to not notice how fast and it still was smooth, that says something.
Walking around the XE, it does look good. It has a masculine front end, tucked up & neat rear end, and nice long sidelines. Aggressive little accents do help make it complete.
I climb in the back, and I must say, being a standard 6ft in height, I felt quite surprisingly claustrophobic. I didn’t expect that. It was quite tight back there, and I don’t just mean fitting my Christmas 20lbs I gained, I mean height. Sitting up straight, my head was smooshed in the ceiling. I can see that the roofline has a swooping drawn line for aerodynamics. However, a little too much. Not unbearable, but not good.
Dashboard is still analog. However, it does have the full touchscreen in the middle console, and many of the car’s functions can be run from here. The main thing to notice on the middle console is the transmission selector. No stick here, it’s a round knob that rises from the dash . A bit of a novelty, but fun nonetheless to use.
One thing that the wife did notice right at the Auto Show. If you are a petite person, like my wife is, there is a visibility problem when looking over your left shoulder. My wife has to first move the seat all the way forward until she impales herself on the steering wheel. Yet, when she turns to the left, the B-Pillar (the vertical pillar that connects the driver door and left rear passenger door) is so thick, you can’t see past it. When I sat in it and moved the seat almost all the way back (to make room for my Christmas 20lbs), I still had issues. A bit odd, but obviously something to consider.
So, off we go for some highway and byway driving. Right off the bat, the first thing we noticed was the turbo lag. We were near 2000rpm before the power surge would kick in. Plus, it was not terribly strong after that. The car definitely felt like it was straining a bit. Handling wasn’t too bad, my wife whipped it back and forth enough to scare the salesman, but we did warn him first that we would put the car through its paces. He was ok, he was wearing his helmet.
Highway driving no difference either. You needed to bury the pedal to get passing speed, plus the car was a bit light in the loafers, it was being affected by wind. So, we concluded that the smaller engine was not for her. This car was nowhere near as good as its competitor of the BMW 330i.
Well, you know what is next, the supercharged 340hp model. Superchargers have the nice function of that they do not have lag. You mash the pedal, it gets the power from the line. The car also comes standard with Sport Suspension, a nicety, however it had higher-than-normal profile tires, not so hot. So, we hopped in that one, took it out and…….um……well…..same exact thing. There was a clear lag right off the line. Hmmm…..
To doublecheck, I hopped behind the wheel. Traction Control off….check. Sport Mode….check. 1st Gear…..check. Wife and salesmen are wearing full race gear, five point seat harnesses, helmets, and have updated their life insurance plans…..check. Blip the pedals a bit to simulate Launch Control…..and……..LAG!!! It still had it. The car has a big pause before it wants to go. The tires did spin, but because they were higher profile tires we lost part of the surge in the rubber, the expected 340hp oomph becomes a lazy trickle. Do take into account that the car weighs nearly 2 flipping tons! That’s just a bit too much for today’s performance cars.
To summarize, I have a big ol’ soft spot in my heart for Jaguar. Oh, sorry, didn’t pronounce it right……Jaaaaaag! British refinement, you feel regal driving one. For the XE, if you are the basic driver who thinks that your right foot should be as reserved as your grandmother when she is knitting you a sweater while sipping her Earl Grey tea, then by all means, this car can be right up your alley. It is beautiful, it is affordable, it does have a nice feel when you sit in it and drive it “normally” down the road. I do so love Jaguar.
However, for a true Petrolhead, it fits in the category of “Most Improved, but not quite there yet”. Keep your eye on Jaaaaaag for now. Until then, grab a stein of cold lager in a BMW.