Does Pink Floyd still love Jaguar?

Do you fit into one of these categories?

  • You are over 102 years of age
  • You think Jimi Hendrix and Elvis are still alive.
  • You are a teenager who loves Cannabis…. Many times a day

If so, you know this line “Love to drive in a Jaguar”, pronounced “Jag – Goo – Are”. In Pink Floyd’s song “Welcome to the Machine”. Well, Jaguar is welcoming all of us to their new machine, and they want us to keep up the pace.

At the So Flo Intl Auto Show, Jag was having a great time with all their Tatas displayed all over the place…. And the cars were beautiful as well. Jags and Range, all the beauty of Indian British Tata beauty. Now, the Booth Babes were showing off the brand-new pace of Jag, the IPace. It is their pure electric car. It’s a four-door car, that isn’t a car. It is a SUV…….?……. no it’s not, but to Jag, they want to compare it to the Audi E-Tron. Well…..ok, whatever floats and gloats your boats.

It’s not the standard gorgeous nature of Jag. When one looks at a Jag, if you are a guy and aren’t nursing a semi in your pants, you need to stop reading this article, hurry up and go buy your wife’s tampons before you get home, oh, and also the last food rub you gave was NOT good enough. For the rest of us, sitting in a Jag is pure emotion. Yes, still all about issues with fitment and little gremlins. But who cares, it’s a JAAAAAAAAAG! So, looking at the IPace, it is NOT your father’s Jag, in any sense. But, hey, I can be open minded.

At the show, they were handing out invitations to their super-duper fancy IPace traveling show. You get to be up and close to the Jag, drive the Jag, and experience all that is Jag. Um, you don’t have to ask me twice. I signed up, and a few weeks later, I headed off.

Anyone who lives in Miami knows that the artsy fartsy area of Wynwood is a maze. Both Siri and Google Maps gave me the middle finger and I had to hunt to find the basically small convention center that the Jag Traveling Show was using. Walk into the place……darkness. They tinted out all the windows, put up big black curtains, and turned off all the lights. From Florida bright sun to having to be led through the dark was different. However, tons and tons……and TONS….. of booth babes, all leading you around through every single place. NO COMPLAINT!! Please continue to pamper me.

First couple of rooms showed off the normal line of cars. First room was the X series of all 3models plus the racing X. The XJL still has one of the best back seats of any big car. The Racing XF had a license plate shaped like the Nürburgring and was 7:21:20….. yes, a car is not a car till it’s tested on the Nürburgring!

Next room was the F-Type room. One basic model, nice. But then, a full-on SVR Convertible. Ay yay yay, I wished they would just let it run and run and rev it up over and over. Jag F-Type is absolutely on the top of any list of Best Exhaust Sounds. But, exhaust in a closed room, not the best idea.

Now, the Pace Room. EPace, FPace, and IPace, the 3? SUV’s. I went straight to the elephant in the room and started eyeing it, and asking questions. Thankfully for me, “Paul the Pace Product Specialist” was there. As I started grilling, he decided to rise to the occasion and for the next 40 minutes or so, he filled my head with about every drop of info on Jag since the year 1794. I will say, that when my wife test drove the XE, the sales guys were quite devoid of info. These corporate Product Specialists travel around trying to train the sales guys so they know how to sell. My local Jag dealer in Fort Lauderdale, they need Paul to visit.

First off, he shows me how Jag didn’t have a rear-window wiper. Um…. That is what you start with to show me? Well, he did it because once you see how Jag designed an air flow where the air starts at the grill, rolls under the hood, and out through an active reverse scoop, then loops over the roof in just a certain way, and then to a rear glass spoiler that moves the air down in rapid fashion over the highly slanted back glass. Hmmmm….. the “James May” in me got excited. They even had a big screen where you could see the car with wind tunnel effects showing everything. Neato.

Next, the gigantic piece of glass on the roof. Jag supposed spent a trillion dollars developing this piece of glass to be, and I quote , “Low Emissivity Glass for High Heat Dissipation”. In the Queen’s English, “One won’t perspire gratuitously while sitting in the auto”.

Looking at the specs, it does 0-60 in 4.5 seconds and has top range of 234 miles. First things first, NOT matching the Tesla. I asked my new buddy Paul and he said “We are not comparing to Tesla at all. We are just going for the Germans.” Eeek, not sure I agree with that, kinda sounds like setting a bar low. However, ok, still rolling. Sitting in the car, one will also be cool and comfy because the A/C is like having a leaf blower blasting you while at the North Pole, it is strong!! Plus, it has not just heated but cooling seats. My man parts were definitely cool and comfy as well. Points for the IPace there by all men.

One thing to note. On the standard 220 charge, 0-80% charge is 10 hours. Ok, Jag, that is about the same as the ridiculous Nissan Leaf. This is definitely not a long-term solution. So is also that there is no “Long Range” model coming out. These are legitimate beefs. Jag, back to the drawing board.

Here is a party piece for Jag. In 5 years, ALL Jag models will have both the gas type and an electric type. XE, XF, F-Type, the Pace’s, all could be either. Now that is a bold plan. Can India pull this off? Well, to tell you, put a full XJL out with electric, that just could be a luxury game changer.

Now, because my newest bestest buddy Paul was enjoying filling my head with information, and I told him that “yes”, I would put this into my blog, I had to add some of his “Easter Egg” parts in there. So, we went off to also explore the ancient combustion engine EPace, their baby Ute, comparable to the Audi Q3 or BMW X1. The car is certainly handy. It has all the bell/whistles that one needs. Plus, two things he was very keen to pointing out, on the glove box deck lid, one has a tiny slot for business cards, and then, as he also put it, a 30cent piece of rubber to hold your favorite pen. Ok, while these don’t seem impressive, I will admit he is right, sometimes just even the littlest convenience items can be the difference between a hassle, and easiness. Most people now buy cars based on convenience, so if Jag is doing the little extra, it helps.

Oh, and if you look around the windshield on the EPace, you see a little outline of a Jag and its baby which is called a “Cub”. The EPace is the Jaguar automobile cub. Also shows on the open-door ground light. Now we know what Easter is about in the auto world…. Car goodies.

Ok, NOW it is time for the main event…..The  Test Drive. Now it is about going from walking in near darkness back to bright sun. After 20 minutes necessary to shrink my pupils, the first drive is the street drive, and the second is the high-speed obstacle course. All have an official Jaguar race driver with you. In the street drive, once I told my race car guy that I have my own blog, we just “accidentally” went off for a longer drive. Right off the bat, found a nice long stretch. Yup, stomp right pedal, stomp left pedal. The one true absolutely undeniable joy of electric motors is the torque. Sweet blessed torque. While even the supercharged XE has oddly significant lag on the FAI, the IPace has absolutely no lag in any way shape or form. Not one iota. It takes off instantly. Now, 4.5 seconds 0-60, is this the most magnificent glorious jump? Sorry, Tesla has taken that down. Model 3 at 3.5, Model X and S in the 2’s, so 4.5 is not terribly impressive. But, 4.5 is absolutely nothing to gripe about. One can jump into traffic very easily…. Especially in Wynwood.

Well, ok, after 1 minute of great driving, and then 30 minutes to do 10 feet in Wynwood traffic, we are back, and I move on to the pseudo race track. They had cones out, with lights that would denote which cones to go to, and everyone got a random track course. As it was the end of Day 2 of the event, I came in under a minute and that put me at #35 of 250. Hey, Paul the Pace Product Specialist, if you are reading this, I would love to know my final score. I raced around and beat the test car a bit, and it did well.

And mind you, all of this was done with no sound but the wind and a little bit of tire squeal. That low center of gravity in electric cars, let’s face it, that is yet another darn cool part of electricity. OH, and also, charging at home and never ever going to a gas station again, that’s awesome. Oh, and saving money on gasoline, that too.

Finishing up, back into darkness, another 20 minutes to let my pupils dilate so I can see. Booth Babe, take me away! Food, beverages, and some neat non-Jag toys being shown off. A robot dog that responds to you and chases balls. OH, and they had their Matrix room, with bullet-time picture, so one can feel like Neo or Trinity. The IT geek in me liked that.

Overall, the Jaguar IPace is a qualified electric contender, and a good start. Once Jag does electric on every vehicle, I have a feeling that the IPace just miiiiiiight need a few changes. But for now, Kudos to Jag, Pink Floyd is still happy.