Another year, another Miami International Auto Show is completed. As I am starting up my new blog, and I just made my regular appearance, I figured this was a good place to put some notes.
The MIAS is nothing compared to NAIAS (North America). This is the show where all the car makers pull out all the stops to put on crazy demonstrations with their vehicles. From showing off horsepower by allowing unlicensed teenagers to spin the tread off the tires on stage, to testing all the new wonderful safety features by allowing nursing home residents to drive into a crowd of people to test the auto brakes, NAIAS is a big and impressive show. Miami…..is not this…..darn, I really wanted to see the auto braking feature in action.
However, since NAIAS is in Detoilet…oops, sorry, Detroit, and no one except people who wear “Thug Life” tshirts want to go there, paying $15pp to go to Miami will do. Hey, the whole point is to try to see a bunch of cars in one place to see what car you might want to buy, and of course hope that someone will claim you are the winner and get to test drive the $500 Billion dollar Bugatti….keep dreaming. In our show down here, there are plenty of cars to see, so it is well worth the visit.
Due to the Convention Center being remodeled, there were some noticeable absentees. BMW only had three cars, Mercedes had only half of their fleet, and MINI wasn’t even present (did someone forget to send them the memo?). However, there were plenty to see, and some fantastic newcomers.
For the good side, here are some of the contenders….
The new Kia Optima, I had to check the rear badge to ensure I got the model right. Big difference, and by big I mean they added 1000 cubic feet to the car. Very spacious for a car. The leather on the seats was quilted and of decent mix of softness and durability, and the dashboard was well laid out. Two interesting showings were the Cadenza and the K900. Both are considered big luxury cars. Their layouts are for luxury, they have loads of space and lots of features. However, both have MPG of a Lincoln….1970’s Lincoln that is. So, they aren’t luxury by MB/BMW level, but they can’t be luxurious & affordable commuter cars since the mileage is too low. So what are they?
Hyundai is finally doing what they needed to do a long time ago, they are separating the Genesis line. Remember the Volkswagen Phaeton. Big expensive luxurious…….VW. Those don’t go together, just like Kia and expensive luxury. Same as if you called it the Toyota Lexus, you couldn’t command the $80,000+ price tag. So Genesis lagged. Now, it is on its own, and I foresee a boom in sales. They rebadged their existing Hyundai Genesis into the “G80” and now have the even larger G90. Talk about massive size, they are trying to fit a Chevy Surburban size into a regular car. Sitting in the front passenger seat, I was practically fully stretched out. As usual with the Asian luxury cars, lots and lots of luxury. Seats were very nice leather, nice stitching.
Jaguar…..(pausing to wipe the drool)….remember the old tagline “This isn’t your father’s Oldsmobile”, as Olds tried to make normal cars. Well, they failed, but Jag didn’t. The days of Coventry are gone. You get a bit in the 50ft long XJL with a rear seat that could fit Andre the Giant. However, that is where it ends. The new XE is nicely sized, aggressive stance, very clean interior layout, and as compared to its competitors of the BMW 3/Audi A4/MB C Series, it is the most aggressively priced. I also noticed, the extra efforts on the Windows seals in making the car to be very quiet.
Porsche Macan hands down gets “#1 Quietest Car”. The second I closed the doors, it was perfectly silent. No people, no talking, no sound whatsoever, Just dead silence. Sweet!
Alfa had its two American offerings, and let me tell you, they were hot, and those were just the booth babes. Nothing like high horsepower, high speed, and booth babes causing high testosterone levels to make we men weak and willing to spend lots and lots of money on those cars. The Guilia will be the competition to the M3 and RS4 and C63. However, as we know, there is no greater joy nor greater agony in life than owning an Alfa. So, until the Guilia is out for sale on our streets, the jury is out.
Now, for the losers.
I mentioned one of the old-timer GM companies so far, Oldsmobile. There was also Pontiac and Buick, of which only the latter still has one foot out of the grave. If you are looking for a car that is boring, weak, has no presence, and you will literally put on a hat and big glasses when getting into it so no one recognizes you, Buick is for you. Nuff said.
Lincoln, another perennial favorite with a “Kick Me” sign on it. I always sit in one just to remind me of what I will want to drive 90 years from now. The seats are some of the most uncomfortable though, you would think that with La-Z-Boy recliner driving there would be La-Z-Boy seating. You would be wrong. Hard and plain, like a pair of dentures. It will only be a hit at your local Cracker Barrel during Grandpa’s Early Dining.
The oxymoron is of course the Smart ForTwo. One day, a car company said “Hey, lets build a car that will compete with the worst car in America, and name it “Smart”. Someone did this, and so this abomination still roams our shores, terrorizing its competitors which include skateboards, soap box derby racers, and 3 year old girls on tricycles. Pedal faster Little Susie, or you might let the SmartCar catch up.
Last and definitely least, yep, as always, is Fiat. The washing machine on 4 tires at least had its Abarth version there, but still, you could see how tired the hamsters were, and the seats stolen from a discount airline were the usual torture. The car was in the corner, where it belonged, hopefully its creators got the same punishment. The new Fiat 124 Spider was there. I will say, it is at least a good looking car, save for this show model which had a giant car-wrap dull black stripe down its hood, made no sense.
Back to more interesting things, last but not least at the show is always Million Dollar Alley. When the Terminator made his last time travel visit, he accidentally left his future technology here, in the form of the Pagani Huayra. With two of them parked side by side, all open and on display, the Bugatti looked outright plain and boring. Nothing like the word “naked” to get guys to break out the cameras. Naked Carbon Fiber that is. Unfortunately not the booth babes, but the Pagani will do nicely.
The Car Boutique was disappointing this year. I can’t remember one single auto product. It was nothing but vampire salesmen selling insurance, cruises, time shares, jewelry, etc. No car waxes, no Sham-Wow, quite poor.
In my final note, there was a theme to this show. It was present over and over. It was in almost every car, in many different iterations. It made its presence known like a baby’s diaper after eating refried beans an hour ago. It was (drum roll)….THE ANALOG CLOCK. Car after car, from Japanese to German to American, the big hand and the little hand made a strong showing. My favorite, the analog clock that was digitized on the center console touchscreen. PERFECT!
If you didn’t see the show, sorry to hear. Hope you make it next year. Enjoy.