My Approach
I have watched many car shows on TV, listened to them on radio, read numerous articles. Most give me a strong desire to beat my head against a wall. So many “car hosts” are not car guys. The ones who are, are super boring. Jay Leno is considered the “Greatest Petrolhead Ever”, but sometimes his delivery can be a bit dry. Then throw in Top Gear America, Top Gear Australia, 5th Gear, etc. No one seems to get the true magic of the love of the automobile except for the “former” Top Gear UK guys, now on The Grand Tour on Amazon. As for the Top Gear UK replacements….. just how bad can it be? Well, the BBC is finding out.
Cars are not just hunks of metal, they are life itself. You go to work in your car, to the grocery store, to the ball game, on vacation, to school, to Lookout Point with your sweetheart and take off all clothes and…….um, scratch that one……. anyways, your car is your very life. You talk in your car, you laugh in your car, some people cry in their car (if they own a Chevy Sonic, you know why). Life centers around the car.
So why are most car folks so flat and boring about the single most important device you have? Well, I will try to change that. Jezza, Dick, and Slow can’t have all the fun.
My Story
I started driving when I was about 10 years old. My father put me in his lap and taught me how to steer the car. When I was big enough, I sat on the tranny hump and used my left foot to accelerate/brake, what a way to learn. Then I would drive in parking lots and up and down my street. By the time I was 16, I logged more miles than many people do before they even turn 25.
My first car was my father’s car, his 1955 Ford Thunderbird. He bought it new, stored it away about 10 years before I turned 15, then pulled it out and we began the process of restoring it. If you have never restored a car before, to feel the similar pain, go into the bathroom, and use a tweezer to pull out all your teeth! It’s like that.
I have had many cars since, and I just recently crossed the “1 Million Miles Driven” threshold! I was very excited to do that. Now, can I hit 2 million before I die? Well, thanks to cryogenics, probably.
My Picture
My picture will come, still brushing my hair just so I can look just right.
My Access to Cars
Many of my stories will come from personal experiences I have had with cars. Just like we men like to brag about all the hot women we have been with, my women are not limited to the human kind. Cars are mostly women, and we men treat them as such and talk about them as such. Talk to a petrolhead about how good it feels to slip inside his car, and you might be getting a deeply pornographic story.
For other cars, a great source of mine will be a local upscale dealership, Braman Motors, in Miami Florida. They are an upscale dealership, and when I say that, I mean that they break down and cry when they don’t have enough Rolls Royce convertibles on the lot, since the demand is so high. Trust me when I say that despite my very great relationship with these great folks in sales and service, I am still not allowed to touch the Rolls Royce’s. Fingerprints diminish the value of the vehicle of course. So for now, I will have my access, and my subsequent stories, definitely feature cars from BMW, MINI, Hyundai, and Kia.