Number 2 Isnt Number 2

Imagine the original 2006 BMW 3 Series coupe. Make it a tiny bit smaller, then make it far more nimble, more comfortable, load it with tons more technology, add 40hp but shed a ton of weight, then add lots of expensive goodies like BMW M-Suspension, BMW M-brakes, BMW M-Active Dampening, and even BMW Performance Exhaust. Then, make it about the same price as the old car.

Ok, first, wipe the drool off your chin. Sounds too good to be true. Well, enjoy that dream, because Bimmer has brought you the new M240i!!

For those not familiar with BMW’s new numbering schema, they have changed their order so that even numbers are coupes, and odd numbers are sedans, except for 4 and 6 which they then confuse you and call a sedan a coupe and add doors. Mercedes started that trend, and people still look dazed at the explanation. Just try going to a party and explaining the difference between an auto’s B pillar and C pillar. Guaranteed in 5 minutes you will be standing by yourself by the shrimp bowl, stuffing your face and cursing into a mirror how no one is as smart as you.

The 2 is the new number for the infamous 1-Series. When in 2006 the 3 decided to grow 1000% in size (that’s just an approximation), it rather tweaked many bimmerphiles in the wrong way. We are petrolheads, gearheads, weekend highway warriors who want to take our little hot sport cars and thrash them at high speeds on the highway and around turns. So the size bump threw that all off. The new 3-Series was bigger, clumsier, and slower. Boooooooooooo! So, BMW had to find a way to shut us the heck up. They did.

The 1 Series! They pulled this out of their proverbial hat and threw it at us. “Hear, shut up, now leave us alone.” However, what they saw as a 1-off (get it, ha ha) quickly became a true favorite. We ate that car like a 4 year old eats Halloween candy. Sales skyrocketed. Just try to find one on a lot, it was hell. They kept production low as well, so values stayed up. When they threw an “M” model at us, we really went crazy. You had to fight through lions, tigers, AND bears  to find one, then buy it at $50,000. Yet, 5 years later, it has depreciated all the way down to …..$50,000!

So, when it was time to upgrade, they then changed the number to the new schema, and now it is the 2 Series. Little bigger, better lines, more horsepower, it looks more like its bigger brothers/sisters. You can even fit an adult in the back seat. I swear its possible. Plus, looking at the Build-Your-Own on the website, they throw in the kitchen sink. M brakes, M Active Dampening, Sport Exhaust, free puppy, its all in the price (well, 3 out of 4), and a lot more. It is even cheaper than what I had to pay for my 135 a while back. Talk about a bargain. Eat just about every car out there for breakfast, and not even break $50K. LOVE IT!!

Now, for the M in the room. The new M2. Talk about a Wunderkind! Brand new model, never been made before, brand new design, brand new engine schematic, and BOOM, it has officially become the best BMW on the market. Every single critic I read from says that the M2 is THE Bimmer to buy. The M4 has become bloated, the M3 is not the same, the M6 is too huge, and the M5 has complaints as well.

To get that happy feeling when you turn and look at your wife or girlfriend in the passenger seat and see the look of absolute fear in her eyes as you just took that hairpin turn at 90mph with no oversteer and you see a perfect impression of her face in the side window from her makeup as you blame the G-Force as doing it, that is just one of those little nirvana feelings we all try to get. You know she won’t talk to you when you get to the restaurant for a few minutes, and she will order 3 glasses of the French wine and then the $100 Surf and Turf dinner to get back at you, but you won’t care. You felt the G’s, and it felt gooooooood! Hallelujah!

So, of all the BMW numbers from 1-7, pick #2. Any flavor will do of the 2, any will be good to you.